I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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