is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
