she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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