just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
