I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
