You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
