Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
