Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
