im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
