Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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