My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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