thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
