He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize