We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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