now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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