Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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