look no pants
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
