Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
