yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
