Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you made out with another girl for some wings
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
