Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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