East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
