Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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