I need help removing her.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
