I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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