I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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