Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
