p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
