Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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