How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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