YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
being pregnant is like rehab
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
