She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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