Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
