I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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