i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
