I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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