After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
