Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
