should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
