Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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