the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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