She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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