we're blogging at a bar
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
