imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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