i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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