I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
