smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
