i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
