The maid of honor just puked.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
