kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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