Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
