she looked like the before picture.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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