last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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