doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
