ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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