If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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