dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
