Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
