They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
