yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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