..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
