I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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