I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
