I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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