so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Blood and glitter go together right?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
