If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
