You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
