Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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