fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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