So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
