I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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