youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i think i just lost a toe
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