I want to make a zoo with you.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
