Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
