I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
