im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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